Types of Asian Women Most Likely To Date Black Guys

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Let’s face it, while Black and Asian couples are one of the fastest growing interracial combinations, there are certain Asian ladies who are not very likely to date Black guys, as well as certain Asian women most likely to date Black guys. Knowing the difference can save you a lot of time. It’s also true that certain Black guys are not very likely to date Asian women, so it’s really a two way street. When considering any interracial relationship, there are always those men and women who are open to dating other races and those who are more likely to stick to their own race.  Both Black men and Asian women marry outside their race at fairly high rates with 24% of Black men in the US married to non-Black women and 36% of Asian American women married to non-Asian men – see the post Interracial Marriage – Asians and Blacks, so it really just comes down to finding the right person. In this post, we will discuss the types of Asian women most likely to date Black guys. We will also look at the type of Asian women who are least likely to date Black men, as well as the types of Asian women that Black men should probably avoid, even if they are open to dating Black men.

Types of Asian Women

different types

One of my favorite Youtube channels is The Fung Bros, a very funny, but down to earth and educational channel by two Chinese American brothers – David Fung and Andrew Fung. They describe their Youtube channel as being devoted to advancing the education and discussion of Asian and Asian-American topics for people around the world, and through their artful use of comedy and collaborations with several guest experts, they do a great job of giving us a behind the scenes look at Asian Americans and their daily lives. One of their most popular videos is called 18 Types of Asian Girls, where they break down the different types of Asian American women into 20 different types – two of their 18 types had more than one type:

  1. Asian Baby Girl – the female Asian gangster
  2. Good Asian Girl – traditional sweet and cute Asian lady
  3. Yappie Asian Girl – the young Asian professional
  4. Rich FOB Asian Girl – rich Asian ladies “fresh off the boat” from Asia
  5. Normal FOB Asian Girl – students and other “fresh off the boat” Asian ladies with VISA drama
  6. Geeky Asian Girl – geeky nerd Asian women
  7. Brainiac Asian Girl – super nerdy Asian ladies from nerdy Asian families
  8. Sporty Asian Girl – fitness, health, and sports focused Asian ladies
  9. Party Asian Girl – Asian ladies who love to party
  10. Blonde Sorority White Washed Asian Girl – Asian ladies who really wannabe White
  11. Rocker Alternative White Washed Asian Girl – edgy, cynical, counter Asian culture women who mainly date White guys
  12. Hipster Asian Girl – hip, cool, internet savvy Asian ladies
  13. Fashionista – highly fashion oriented Asian women
  14. Feminist Activist Asian Girl – the angry Asian girl who is always worked up about her particular cause
  15. Church Loving Asian Girl – highly religious Asian women
  16. Rich Asian Girl – the Asian lady from a rich Asian American family
  17. Urban Rap Asian Girl – the Asian lady who loves urban culture
  18. Dancer Asian Girl – Asian women who love to dance
  19. Forever Single Asian Girl – Asian ladies with ridiculously high standards for guys
  20. Foodie Asian Girl – Asian women who love food

As the Fung Bros admit, they made up this list with a little help from their friends, but it seems to make sense and many of their Asian viewers have validated the types. Many of their Asian female viewers also classified themselves as a combination of several types, not just one type. While it’s not a perfect list, the Fung Bros have been doing videos on Asian culture for many years now and the validation from their viewers is pretty compelling. One of the important things to realize from this list is that Asian women do not neatly fit into one simple box as people sometimes like to think. Also many of the types of Asian women identified by the Fung Bros are very different from the stereotypes that many hold about Asian women.

Since the Fung Bros focused mainly on Asian American women, I will take the liberty and add 3 more types of Asian women focused more on Asian women in Asia to complete the list:

  • USA Dreamer Native Asian Girl – Asian ladies who live in Asia, but dream of living in the US, often with unrealistic views of life in the US
  • Practical Native Asian Girl – Asian ladies who live in Asia who accept the practicalities of living in Asia with no real desire to move to the west
  • Poor Asian Girl – Asian ladies who live in either Asia or the US who live in poor conditions and often struggle just to get by

In the following breakdowns of Asian women most likely, possibly, and least likely to date Black men, please consider these as general guidelines, and not as hard and fast rules. You can meet Asian women from the most likely categories who will not date Black men and you can meet Asian women from the least likely categories who will date Black men, so just use your common sense in every situation.

Types of Asian Women Most Likely to Date Black Men

most likely

  • Urban Rap Asian Girl – These women appreciate urban and Black culture and often interacted with Blacks when they grew up. Be aware that some urban rap Asian girls really only like urban Blacks and will not get along well with “suburbia” type Blacks.
  • Poor Asian Girl –   These women are often very sweet and caring and can make great wives. While they are interested in improving their lives, they are often more interested in love and family, rather than just their finance situation. Be careful that she may expect you to provide financial support for her family as well once you are married or in a long term relationship. You need to be very clear about this expectation before getting into a long term relationship with the poor Asian girl.
  • Dancer Asian Girl – You will likely connect with the dancer Asian girl through dancing in one form or another and they will often appreciate your dance skills which can lead to a relationship. Sometimes these relationships are best kept to the dance floor, but sometimes you can successfully move the relationship beyond the dance floor since you already have at least one common interest.
  • Hipster Asian Girl – The hipster Asian girl prides herself on her variety of friends of different ethnicities and she appreciates the cool and hip points she gains from hanging with her Black friends. The hipster is often very progressive and open, but she is mainly interested in other hip people who have an interesting story. She will not be as attracted to one dimensional, boring, or uninspiring guys.
  • Sporty Asian Girl – The sporty Asian girl comes in two varieties – the sports oriented girl and the fitness oriented girl. The sports oriented Asian girl can connect easily with Blacks through sports whereas the fitness oriented Asian girl can sometimes be singularly focused on her own fitness goals. Both types though appreciate fit guys who are active and prioritize taking care of themselves physically. Couch potatoes need not apply.
  • Yappie Asian Girl – Yappies can sometimes connect with other upwardly mobile professional Blacks particularly when they share the same profession. They appreciate Blacks who have put in the work in building their careers the same way they have. Sometimes you can connect through the common struggle of breaking through the glass ceilings that minorities often face.
  • Party Asian Girl – The party girl loves to party and be seen with other movers and shakers on the social and nightclub scene, so she will hang with Blacks who fit this category, even though her main crowd will be other party Asian girls. It can be tough to have meaningful relationships with party girls as they tend to be superficial, materialistic, and immature in their thinking often. Be aware that this type also loves to shut down guys if you either don’t fit her definition of cool or you can’t sponsor her party lifestyle.
  • Normal FOB Asian Girl – If the normal FOB Asian girl is in the US on her own, maybe in school, or perhaps getting out of a failed relationship, she will typically be open to dating Black men, but you really have to sort out her true intentions. Some – not all – FOB Asian girls are mainly looking for a steady English tutor, or someone who can help them acclimate to American culture, or someone to help them sort out their VISA issues, so they will be in a relationship with you as long as you can help them with their FOB related needs. If the FOB Asian girl already has a big support group or family in the US, she may be a little less likely to date Black men as she will be heavily influenced by her support system.
  • USA Dreamer Native Asian Girl – This Asian lady lives in Asia, but has dreams of living in the US and often sees life in the US in an overly idealized way. She likely has only seen movies about living in the US which contributes to her unrealistic view of America. You are likely to meet this type in your travels in Asia or perhaps online in social media or dating sites. She is not necessarily looking to meet Black men, but she will be often be open to you as an American guy. A couple of big risks with this type of Asian girl – first, she may only be looking for a green card and she may lose interest in the relationship after she obtains that, and secondly, once she realizes that America is not completely the land of milk and honey that she dreamed about, this can be a big letdown for her and she may suddenly want to go back to her home country.
  • Asian Baby Girl – She is the bad ass Asian “gangster” girl. Being with a bad boy Black guy can actually give her a little “street cred” as a bad ass. The problem with many ABGs is that they are only about the ABG look, not the ABG life. Also even the ABGs who are about the ABG life are actually pretty soft and insecure once you really get to know them, despite portraying this bad ass vibe. A true ABG will only hang out with bad boys and is tough both inside and outside, but watch out for the wannabe ABGs.

Types of Asian Women Who May Possibly Date Black Men

maybe

  • Church Loving Asian Girl – If she attends American churches, particularly one of the many diverse, multicultural churches in places like California, she will be open to dating Black christian men. She may even date non-christian Black men with the intent of converting them to Christianity. If she attends one of the Asian American churches where they conduct services in native Asian languages, she is not as likely to date Black men.
  • Feminist Activist Asian Girl – The angry Asian girl hates to be objectified and hates any guy who she perceives has “yellow fever” – you really have to approach her as a person, not as an Asian, which frankly is a good approach in general. She will not tolerate guys who ask her stupid stereotypical questions and she has a short fuse generally for any kind of nonsense. If she has a big cause that she identifies with and you are a true supporter of that cause, you may have a chance with her. Sometimes the angry Asian girl is not very tied to Asian culture which can make her more progressive in some ways.
  • Foodie Asian Girl – Most Asian American women are foodies. While many Asian women are experts in the food of their own culture, they often do not know much about other Asian foods, American foods, or latin or middle eastern foods, so their foodie motivation in part is just exploring the many foods they did not grow up with. As long as you are open to new and sometimes different food, you can relate to the foodie, but if your diet is fairly restricted for whatever reason, you may have difficulty relating to foodies.
  • Geeky Asian Girl – Geeky Asian girls are nerds and somewhat aloof to American culture. If you are a nerd as well, you can probably relate to geeky Asian girls, but otherwise this can be a tough match for many Black men.
  • Brainiac Asian Girl – Brainiacs are similar to geeky Asian girls and unless you are also a Brainiac – similar to Dr. Tyrone Hayes and Dr. Kathy Kim who have been married for 21 years as of 2015 – this can be a tough relationship. Be aware that Brainiacs can sometimes be mentally very open to interracial dating, but they often have not thought through the practicalities of interracial dating – it’s all just a mental concept for them.
  • Practical Native Asian Girl – You will most likely meet the practical native Asian girl during your Asian travels, or perhaps online. She lives in Asia and is doing just fine living her practical life in Asia. If you are both struck by the cupid  arrow during your meeting, she may be open to dating a Black man, but only if you can relocate to Asia to live in her country. Sometimes the practical native Asian girl will be reluctant to date a Black man in her home country, but if you can ever convince her to move to the US, which will be tough with this type of Asian lady, she will be very open to dating a Black man in the US. This happens with many Korean women who would never date a Black man in Korea, but once in the US, they are much more open to dating Black men.
  • Fashionista – CJ & Kat, who run the Ourmode fashion blog are the perfect example of a Blasian fashionista couple, so yes, fashionista Asian women will date Black men. The difficulty with fashionistas is that they can be very high maintenance and are often materialistic. If you are equally fashionable and don’t mind sponsoring her lifestyle in part or whole, this relationship can work, but otherwise this may be a tough matchup.
  • Rocker Alternative White Washed Asian Girl – This may seem like an unlikely match for Black men at first glance, but rocker Asian girls end up with Black men in two ways typically – first, the suburbia Black guys are often a good match for rocker alternatives, and second, if the rocker alternative Asian girl has a bad experience or two with white guys, she will often become much more open to dating Black guys. Make no mistake though that their first choice is white guys.

Types of Asian Women Not Likely To Date Black Men

least likely

  • Good Asian Girl – The good Asian girl is very nice and kind, but she is also very family oriented and would not ever think of letting down her family. Maybe in a few years, things will be different, but for now, most Asian/Black relationships require the Asian woman to go against her parent’s desires which the good Asian girl is not very likely to do. If her family is very progressive, and some Asian families are, the good Asian girl could be a good match, but don’t count on the family always being progressive.
  • Rich Asian Girl – The rich Asian girl may know some Blacks if they are involved in her family business, she may even have a Black friend or two, but she is not very likely to date Black men, unless he is a celebrity or ultra rich guy.
  • Rich FOB Asian Girl – Same as rich Asian girl and probably even less likely to date Black men. One possible exception here is the fact that many native Asian women older than 30 are often considered old maids in their own country. In some countries like China, rich Asian women are known to hold special mixers with western men, including a few black businessmen, in hopes of finding marriage companions. While these women may be considered old maids in their own countries, they are often very attractive women and would be considered quite eligible in the US.
  • Blonde Sorority White Washed Asian Girl – The title alone will tell you this type of Asian woman will not date Black men. Sometimes after they have bad experiences with White guys, they are more open to dating Black men, but you shouldn’t waste a lot of time with this type.
  • Forever Single Asian Girl – This type has ridiculously high standards and often an over the top ego. Better not to waste your time with this type.

So you may say, the types breakdown is all well and good, but what about a breakdown by nationality? The fact of the matter is that largely, Asian nationality does not determine an Asian lady’s likelihood to date or not date Black men. You will find Asian women of every nationality that are open and not open to dating Black men, so don’t believe that one nationality of Asian women never dates Black men – this is simply not true. The only guidance I would give on Asian nationality is that Filipinas seem to be the most open to dating Black men, but after that, all Asian nationalities are pretty similar in their degree of openness to date black men.

Also keep in mind that much of what is sometimes interpreted as Asians being racist towards Blacks is often simply a complete lack of familiarity with Blacks, along with a mutual lack of understanding of the cultural differences between Blacks and Asians. See this prior post on cultural differences for more discussion on this topic. Much of what gets labeled as racist between Blacks and Asians is really more a mutual lack of familiarity with each other, and the more time that Asians and Blacks spend together, the more they better understand the cultural differences and begin to build some really great relationships. There is a reason why Asian and Black relationships and marriages often hold up much better than other interracial relationships – see this prior post – which continues to fuel the high growth of Asian and Black couples today.

Summary

Clearly not all Asian women are the same. For Black guys, don’t waste your time pursuing Asian women who are not interested in Black men, since there are plenty of Asian women who are open to dating Black men. Getting to know the type of lady you are dealing with can help give you some guidance on whether she might be open to dating Black men or not, but at the end of the day, every person is unique, so use your common sense. Also if you want to hear directly from Asian women, what do Asian women think about Black men, check out this post. If you are looking for activities where you can meet Asian women, check out this post. If you are looking for the best cities for Black and Asian dating, check out this post, and if you are looking for the best Asian oriented dating sites, see our view of the top 3 Asian dating sites for Black men.

For those who are already in an Asian and Black relationship, feel free to share your story with us. We love to hear from all of our Blasian couples! Also feel free to share your thoughts on this blog post on the Asian Black Couples Forums at this link.

Good luck to everyone!

ABC1

 

46 COMMENTS

    • Hi NBG,

      Thanks for your question. Currently, this site is just a blog, however once we build up our membership base a bit more, we plan on introducing an interactive forum for Asian and Black discussions. If there is sufficient interest from the membership base, we will also introduce some dating site features here as well. In an earlier survey on new features, the current members were more interested in the blog and interactive discussion forum for now, with less interest in dating site features. We try to listen to the readers / members, and if in the future, we have enough people asking for dating site features, we are happy to add those features here. Thanks for visiting our site!

  1. I find this article to be somewhat accurate, although there always exceptions to the rules. Being black and currently dating an asian girl this CAN BE TRICKY IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR LONG TERM relationship because asian girls are mostly loyal to their parents opinions, which means prejudice is likely to play some type of role. More importantly, why is it that people really look down on blacks not just here but worldwide, could it be a silly as the color of one’s skin to create this type of abnormal behavior? Lastly fellas be strong hold your head up, if she doesn’t like you because you are not her type so be it, but if it is only a color issue the question is do you really want to waste your time with such a shallow , empty and sorry chick like that, I hope not. If you are a decent human being who can talk, you will meet and get any type of girl in due season.

      • Thanks for showing how ignorant you are. Just you not all Asians. White America portrays Asian people as broken English speaking, fried rice cooking idiots but you love them and try to be them. Some Asian people even deny their own race trying to be a White American HOW BAD IS THAT? Poor Yoko, somebody give this person a hug and a CLUE!!

      • I saw your comment and i had to respond. Not all Black men are bad. White American portrays us as bad, but that is only a small percentage of us. For example, i am a teacher, i have four college degrees and i own two small businesses. Most Black men are very passionate, romantic, caring and very proud of whoever they are in a relationship. There is bad in all races. Don’t judge us all based on the behavior of a small few

      • Folks….this person is a white guy with issues. I recognize this person from another forum and he goes by a variety of female Asian names.

        That’s right, ‘yoko’ it’s me….your worst nightmare.

    • Jay, thanks for this comment. I am African researcher on Asia history and specialized in the Northeast antiquity, born and raised in Africa. // I was a student in the late 90’s when I met and engaged with an Korean student in Paris who could belonged to all these 2/5/7/15/19 “Asian Women categories”. A really brilliant, well-educated woman with good manners and good heart…// After almost 7 years of socialization, we still could not get married with the bless of her family, in spite of me being a member of our Korean community and church, and involved in various activities…// What I want Blacks to definitely understand is these 4 ideas. -1- When you date an Asian person, especially from Japan or Korea, please have this military objective to seduce their relatives by all means, starting with their friends, even acquaintances. These people will have a HUGE part if not all the final decision in their hands. There’s no guarantee, as in my case, but your chances to get your wo/man will be much higher ! -2- This worldwide spread prejudice against Blacks in general is not an accident. It is an political system (not only individuals’ “opinion”) put in place and fueled by Whites (movies, medias, books, etc.) to keep their power in place. Since their colonization by those Whites, Asians (who are mostly from very hierarchical societies) have this only one goal : joining the “winner’s” side, thus adopting Whites’ bias towards Blacks and even Asians. This generates the next point. -3- Always remember that Asia societies can be very structured and hierarchical (Korea being the extreme of these criteria). While seducing your new and future family and friends, turn all this in your advantage by entering the system. Asia is an all-to-the-winner-system. Show that your entering the family add something to the community, whatever it is. Follow the group [even if at start you don’t agree or don’t understand) and do your best to be seen as a winner. It does not mean being wealthy, or humiliating others. In any case, always fight (smartly, NEVER aggressively, especially in Japan always smile and never complain (these are cultural behaviors)] fight and win to defend your interests as well as the community’s. Your social popularity will grow. You will (need and) have some powerful “lawyers” underground!! -4- When it is time to get married, the Black man should remember that keeping an Asian woman away from her people seriously decreases her woman “value” and capacities, especially northeast Asians from Korea, (Japan a bit less; this is from my experience and knowledge). These are women programmed for socialization. If you are not family/community-oriented, you will miss the most important for your couple and children. It would be like working hard the previous 1/2/3 points, and then throwing all your crop away ! kk ! kk !// This is how you could be successful in love and life INSIDE Asian society. // Japan is really the country where races hierarchy is swept right away when they encounter a person who does not match their previous assumptions. // Hopefully, you could understand my English as I have never been in your English-speaking countries. Thanks to amazing Lily who displayed your website.

    • Speaking from personal experiences and point of views, I’m an Asian American and I’ve had a fair share of random black guys hitting on me. Perhaps the fact that it was mostly Black OLD guys hitting on me that makes the experience a bit unpleasant… but, in general, when random guys comment on my thickness and how they “like that”, it’s not exactly flattering. Anyway, I really don’t think it has to do with the color of their skin. It’s the fact that I see a lot more black guys that are into hiphop or are in gangs or something. In general, guys that blast hiphop music and have bouncing cars and do gang signs generally aren’t my type. Doesn’t matter if he’s black, white, asian, latino, whatever. I have a type. I prefer guys that are somewhat attractive, pursuing a career in the STEM field, have generally nice personalities, doesn’t label me as an “asian” and just sees me for who I am (in other words doesn’t have yellow fever), and just overall is a good person. Would prefer if they aren’t lazy sloths and actually have some kind of passion in life. If a guy fits this description, I’d be down to date that guy. With that being said, I know a lot of black guys that I’ve had classes with in college that I would’ve dated if I had the chance. We just weren’t ever romantically involved.
      Anyway, to answer your question, why, in general, are black people looked down on? I’d say it has less to do with racism and more to do with classism, which leads to generalization, which becomes racism. In general, black people are more likely to be in poverty. Less likely to have a college education. Not just in the U.S. or other countries. African countries in general aren’t doing too well economically compared to western or asian countries. And it isn’t likely that that cycle will break any time soon. I’m not talking about all black people. I’m talking about black people in general. No one sees a black guy in a tux getting out of a ferrari and looks down on him for the color of his skin. But that’s not exactly the image that pops up when you think about “black people” in general. Black people aren’t to blame. But it’s reality…

  2. From experience, I am pretty sure a very very large majority of Asians girls those who date black guys in the USA fall into the "Urban Rap Asian Girl" and Looking for Sexual Adventure categories. And I don't even go to clubs.

    • Forlan, While we are sure that "Urban Rap Asian Girls" date Black guys, we see many different types of Asian girls dating and marrying Black guys. Just looking at the examples of Asian and Black couples in the celebrity Blasian couple listings, you see Asian women who are doctors, professors, business executives, media stars, marketing managers, scientists, economists, philanthropists, business owners, musicians, athletes, models, authors, and politicians – all dating or married to Black guys. We see a similar wide range of Asian women dating non-celebrity Black guys as well. This would say that the assumption that a very large majority of Asian girls who date Black guys in the US are all "Urban Rap Asian Girls" is incorrect. Not all Asian women, but many Asian women are much more open minded than you assume and that trend is only increasing which we think is a good thing.

      Thanks for the comment and thanks for visiting ABC.

  3. I was married to a black man and we have a child together. My son is now 12 year old and he is handsome:) his grandma said so, i said so and my friends said so! When people talk about race, it makes me feel they are talking about a fruit group. Granted, there are those who are racist and I've seen and heard them. For example, i work for a financial institution and the most racist race I've encountered are older white folks. A colleague of mine had a caucasian client who asked to speak to a "white" person as if she was ordering from a race menu. Do I think every caucasian person is a racist like this one? Absolutely not. The same with black people. My son is half black, his grandparents are black and they are good people. They made me feel welcome. Now there are those other black people that I don't want to be associated with because of their behavior. The point I'm trying to make is one race cannot be condemned because of the behaviors of the few rotten ones. Stop stereotyping and look at the individuals.

    • Emy,

      Thanks for your comment and very well said! We very much agree with you that treating people as individuals as opposed to stereotypical groups would make this world a much happier place.

      Thanks for visiting ABC and we wish you and your handsome son all the best! Enjoy your holidays!

      ABC

  4. Happy always to see more mixed couples when I go about… still hoping that we all try to fight against stereotypes and biases in our pursuit of love.

    • Jayden, Thanks for your words of wisdom. We agree that ultimately people have to look beyond the stereotypes and deal with every person as an individual, even though our human nature often wants to put everyone in simple boxes for easy classification. Thanks for visiting ABC!

  5. I dated the overly Christian asian girl she was phillpino jehovah’s witness even though I loved her dearly it was a nightmare we would have sex and the next moment she was acting like she was the missionary and I was the savage and I was not about to go knocking on peoples door on Saturday’s plus her family had preconceived ideas about black people which were all negative and if anything was on the news or on TV I found myself having to explain that not everyone is that way, on the other hand I dated another asian lady that was so sensitive and insecure that she would almost always take my words out of context misunderstand a situation to the point where I had watch what I wanted to say to her or overly think about what I wanted to say to her so that she didn’t get offended or upset it got to the point where I didn’t feel like I could be myself around her like when you first meet someone and you in that awkward stage of dating it was like we never got past that stage with her

    • Leonard, Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. We have seen some Black men struggle with dating extremely religious Asian women, so we understand. Also some Asian women have a very narrow experience with the world, so if you meet someone who is not as adventuresome in branching out of their comfort zone, that can be a challenge a well. Thanks for visiting ABC!

  6. Well, I have had two interesting experiences dating women from China. I am a black man, from New York City, thus I am used to all kinds of cultures, races, etc., and always live by the “Golden Rule” and placing the numerous “adjectives” after the person name. This means that I want to know the person first and any adjective just describes the person, not defines the person.

    Anyways, the first young lady that I dated from China was from the poorest province in China (Guizhou) and she moved to Guangdong Province (perhaps the richest province). She became corrupted morally there and ended up living with the owner of a large company who is old enough to be her father but he is wealthy. They never married but had two children and one day she woke up from her Cinderella story and realize that this type of life is not for her and she was not in love with this man.

    When I met her, I did not know ANYTHING about her but it was love at first site. Eventually, I found out about her but it was by accident. The rich, older man told me! My company and his company wanted to do business and she worked at his company and I thought that she was being “honest” about her status and we started dating and then, this man told me that I can get in big trouble in China dating a woman who is taken (he said “married” but they were never married).

    I apologized to him, telling him the truth and told her that it is over. Eventually, he kicked her out along with their two daughters because she betrayed him. In time, she came back to me and told me the truth about everything and my heart override my head and we were together for 3 1/2 years.

    I wanted to marry her and she came to America to meet my family but two days before meeting my parents she freaked out and demanded to be sent back home. Needless to say, end of relationship.

    I found out later that her original plans with me was to use me to make the old man jeolous so that he would let her go because he is a man of statue in China and somewhat conservative (he is not racist, he actually is a nice man, treated me fairly and with respect and understood that I did not know that this woman was his woman). Well, mission accomplished. But, later she was actually in love with me and we stayed together but a poor girl with limited education going to New York City (the first time away from China) may have been too much, no matter what I did.

    The 2nd woman from China was the most frustrating relationship I ever been in (and, it is still alive, somewhat). I have been working in China since 2004, known China since 2001 and when I met this woman, it was five years after the aforementioned woman. When I saw her I was immediately attracted to her but extremely cautious. I was interviewing people for a position in my company and I hired her. But, even though we were around each other, both professionally and socially, all the time for about six months, I never told her that I liked her. I treated her with respect and the more time went by the more we were doing social things like going to the movies, having meals, going for walks, etc. (this was in Shenzhen, as the previous relationship).

    Then, a client of mine from the USA came to China for business and she was with us each day for about 10 days. After two days he asked “…is she your girlfriend?” I said “no”. I asked if he is interested in her and he said “no, she likes YOU.” I told him that we are business associates and friends, nothing else. He laughed and each day he would poke fun at me. I told him the truth, the most intimate I was with her is to shake her hand or give her a “high five”.

    The day before he left the country he made a bet with me (after so much denial from me). He said that if he can prove that she likes me I had to take him to a restaurant and pay the bill (and, it will be a huge bill). If he is wrong, he would do the same for me. I accepted and then he did the “old school” test called “the pie test”. If a man offer a woman a piece of his pie (and, it can be any other foods) and she accepts and she allows the man to feed her, that means that she likes him.

    So, we did this and she ate the pie from my fork and allowed me to feed it to her and my client said to the both of us “…I knew it, I knew it!” I pretend to not know what he was talking about and she did not have a clue… he said to us “you guys like each other, I knew it!” We both denied it, said that we were friends.

    The next day he left China and we had to fly to another city for business… as always, she would have her room and I would have mine.. after going to our rooms in the hotel, I was laughing at myself, I liked her but I was a little afraid, felt like a 12 year old with a crush on a girl. A few minutes later, she came to my room and said that she locked herself out of the room and needed to use my phone to call the front desk. While we were waiting for someone to bring a key so that she can get into her room she said “…you have a nice room, we can share it and save money” and the rest is history!

    We moved in together when we returned to Shenzhen and during this period of time (nine months) she claimed that I was the first man she ever lived with, and she was so happy because I am very nice, very clean, a good cook, and like most relationships, the beginning is really special. But, during this nine months period, three times she stayed out all night and lied about what she was doing (first time she was at a bridal shower and it got late so she stayed; the 2nd time she was with clients and went to a girlfriend’s house who was with her). Both times she was with someone else and I didn’t have the proof at that time but I basically told her that if he is not happy with me and want to be with someone else, please do so because it is not fair to this man, it is not fair to her and it is NOT fair to me… she denied it both times but she did not know that I knew that her alibi was lies… after the 2nd time the relationship took off and we were even discussing marriage and went as far to look for a home to buy (I was renting). Then, the 3rd time she made the mistake to leave evidence and I made her move out. She was very hurt, I was very hurt and two days later, I had to see her and we talked about everything and decided to continue dating but not live together.

    However, the trust was violated and after a couple of months, we stopped dating. But, we kept talking with one another but I did not see her.

    Now, almost 15 months have gone by and we are still talking, still friendly but she wants to see me again and her best friend told me that she wants me back.

    I don’t know what will happen but… she apologized two days after I made her leave and a couple of months after that she confessed that she was with her ex-boyfriend (does not matter who he was, it was wrong). The trust was violated and if she wants me back, she has to fix the relationship, I am not hurt anymore, I have no expectations at all. But, she must put forth the effort to fix the relationship. Her best friend told me that I should continue the friendship but be around her more, go to her hometown to meet her family and if they are ok with me, she will be better. As of today, I do not know what to do but sooner or later, I will know.

  7. As an Asian American woman I will share something that most Americans are not aware of. 200 years of European colonization and white American imperialism has made most Asian people in Asia fairly racist towards darker skinned people, like Blacks and Indians. Even today when you travel through major Asian cities like Hong Kong and Singapore you will notice that white people are treated better than Asian people at fancy restaurants, hotels, etc. This is what I call “mental colonization”. Asia may no longer be colonized by white people but they are still mentally living in a British colony. Black people, most of whom are African gem traders in Hong Kong, and dark-skinned Indian migrant workers are not treated well at all in upscale establishments. The reason for the racism is that whites have occupied such an elite position in many places in Asia (eg, Hong Kong was a former British colony) that they are put on pedestals. Furthermore, the only contact most Asian people have ever had with Black people is through Hollywood movies. They have been watching these movies for almost 100 years, and you know how Hollywood had depicted Black people throughout it’s history! Not in a nice way at all! But Asian people have absorbed these racist Hollywood images and stories. You should be aware of this culture of racism in Asia before dating an Asian woman. Someone who has grown up in the U.S., had a good education, diverse friends, and understands the politics of race as well as the history of civil rights struggles is your best bet when dating. Barring that, if you’re a very good-looking guy, you can take it upon yourself to educate Asian girls because there won’t be a shortage of them flocking to you lol.

  8. Why is it that some Asian women do not treat their blasian children right after the relationship doesn’t work out with the black man???

  9. Wow, this list is so accurate. Who is the author of this post – an Asian girl? I’ve never seen better descriptions of a Hipster or Activist Angry Asian girl! 🙂 Like most people, I fall into multiple categories – maybe 8 of them! My categories are actually pretty counterintuitive, reflecting my unique background and experiences.

  10. Ellen Pao and Buddy Fletcher would fall into the upwardly mobile category. Fletcher was one of the top 20 wealthiest young African Americans. He donated a ton to Harvard. Pao has both a JD and MBA from Harvard! They were both extreme overachievers, top in their field, one of first minorities to break into top positions in their respective fields. A Fortune article said that they bonded at the Aspen Institute because they were both minorities in a very exclusive white industry/workplace/culture. Again, this article/list is VERY accurate!

  11. Oh god If I had to guess people at first glance would definitely consider me as a mix between the, “Sporty Asian Girl” and the, “Blonde Sorority White Washed Asian Girl”. I was a cheerleader in HS, I’m now a junior in college, president of my sorority, and have been dating the same black fraternity guy since freshmen year. We originally met at a date dash his fraternity was throwing where we just instantly clicked and have been inseparable ever since. He’s everything I could ever want in a BF, funny, highly intelligent, articulate, kind-hearted, caring, hard working, active/in-shape(works out daily and has a 8-pack to prove it), on top of easily being the most beautiful guy I’ve ever been with(seriously the guy could model professionally if he wanted to.) People who meet me for the first time are always shocked when I tell them I’m with a black guy, they always assume I’m one of those Asian girls who only date white men but then they meet my BF and realize he’s the type of guy who would be a serious catch for any woman regardless of race. With that being said, the “Blonde Sorority White Washed Asian Girl” label has me a bit worried. I really hope my bf doesn’t read this article and start getting second thoughts about our relationship lmao!

  12. Its funny how black people are so offended by being classified and judged and yet this article is all about how to classify groups of asian women. Hypocrite much? In my opinion black men expect Asian women to be submissive and cater to their needs while showing very little respect for a culture that has subtle nuances and is steeped in tradition. Not all black men are like this but unfortunately many of them are extremely rude and disrespectful of cultural norms of other people.

    • Hapa,

      Thanks for your comment. If you read the article, you would know that the classification of Asian women came from Asian people, not Black people. Many Black guys are very respectful of Asian cultures – sounds like we should introduce you to some of them 🙂 Don’t believe all the negative stereotypes you see in the media.

      Thanks for visiting Asian Black Couples.

  13. Wish i could get some help here. I’m 28. I’ve never really been interested in dating Asian women until about a few months ago when a new intern started working at my job. I really couldn’t put her in a category but if I tried it would be Fashionista/Yappie. We only see each other at work every so often but when we do we always have conversations. I really wish i could approach her and tell her that i like her but at the same time i don’t want to ruin our business relationship if things gets awkward. What i’m pretty much asking is if i should tell her how i really feel?

    • Bento,
      Thanks for your question. While different people would likely have different advice for your situation, here is our take. While the fact that you guys have regular friendly conversations when you come across each other is a good sign, just the simple fact that you are concerned about potentially ruining your business relationship if things get awkward would be enough for us to say that you should continue to treat her as a good friend for the time being and not risk ruining the business relationship. Our experience says that unless you strongly feel like this is your potential marriage partner, it’s just best to avoid work relationships, because when the relationship does go bad, it can make things very awkward at work or even cause one of you to be reassigned depending on the formality of the type of place you work for at the moment. However being good friends with a beautiful Asian lady is not all bad in this situation and can have many potential upsides. If you guys become really good friends, 1) your work relationship may change over time where maybe one of you gets naturally reassigned or leaves the company/division such that approaching her romantically would suddenly no longer present an issue with your work relationship. By having a good friendship when this happens, you may then naturally be positioned to take things to the next level with her romantically. 2) By being good friends with her, she may build trust and respect in you to be able to introduce you to some of her friends where you would not have to worry about ruining a business relationship. One of the best ways to meet Asian women is through an introduction from a mutual friend. These types of introductions particularly from one Asian female to another really go a long way because our experience says that Asian women tend to vet guys in a way where other Asian women really trust when their friend says you are a good guy and it makes it easier for her to build a relationship with you as well. Approaching an Asian women when you are already vetted by one of her friends vs. approaching the same lady as a complete stranger improves your chances with her 1000% since many Asian women have a natural defense system to random guys given all the weird Asian fever type guys out there. 3) Even without a formal introduction to one of her friends, if you become really good friends with your work colleague and you guys get to the point where you are out together at social events or lunch or something similar simply as friends, that alone can raise the interest levels of other Asian females who witness you being really good friends. We have seen it many times where Black guys who are out socially with attractive Asian women, tend to attract the attention of other Asian females often in a good way. Even without a formal introduction, it makes a public statement that you are cool and understanding of Asian females and our experience is that Asian females who probably would have never paid attention to you if you were out by yourself, will suddenly put you in a completely different bucket of “potentially interesting” and be more willing to have friendly conversation with you simply because they saw you out publicly with another attractive Asian female. Again, we may not be describing why this happens perfectly, but trust us that we have seen this happen many times when out with attractive Asian females and suddenly generating interest from Asian females who never gave us much thought before.

      So in summary, don’t risk ruining your business relationship, but do pursue being simply really good friends with your work colleague for now, as it will tend to lead to other possible upsides down the line. Maybe others will chime in with additional thoughts as well.

      Thanks for visiting ABC and good luck with everything!

  14. I’m glad I researched and found this website! I lost my wife over two years ago to illness although I’m not ready to date I have an older brother who has a Japanese wife and a nephew married to a Mongolian woman, both are very happy and their wives are wonderful. My Japanese sister-in-law recently asked me if I had given any thought to dating and if so would I date a Japanese woman. I was a little shocked by the question since I had never considered dating outside of black. After a few minutes of thought I told her I’d never even considered anything other than black women, but where we I live the pickings are very slim.

    So now I find myself in a weird place having to decide what to do. Its interesting when you remove color you’re left with just how truly matched up you are in mind, heart, and spirit! Which is how it should be.

    • Thanks for visiting ABC and we are glad that you found us. You hit the nail on the head we believe – as long as you find love and compatibility, there really is no reason to not consider certain ethnicities for relationships and marriage. The top places we see BMAW marriages with Japanese women in the US are Los Angeles, Honolulu, San Diego, Oakland, Sacramento, and Seattle. If you live outside these areas, spending a few weeks on the ground in Japan can be helpful as long as you do your research upfront, and the dating site, Japan Cupid is also good, particularly for younger guys (20s/30s), but it’s catching on with the older Japanese crowd as well.

      Best wishes with everything!

  15. There is another kind of Asian woman that date Black men…and if you live in a Asian-heavy city, you will know what I am talking about. They are the ones who actually like Black men, but give into their parents wishes and marry someone Asian or white…then get divorced. Its these women, after the divorce who tell their parents and all else critical of their relationships to kick rocks and on their second marriage marry the Black man they wanted to be with in the first place. I say these women are “Second-Chancers”. In many west coast cities, you see them alot…especially if they are really multiculturally and or politically conscious, and they have a diversity within their set of friends and or family.

    • Damon,

      We very much agree with you and we see the same thing many times. We see 3 varieties of these “Second Chancers”
      – the “Good Asian Girl” who does everything that her family demands of her and marries an Asian guy following all the cultural norms. Then they break up or divorce and the second time around she breaks all the rules and is much more open to dating and marrying a Black man, particularly if he treats her well
      – the “Rocker Alternative White Washed Asian Girl” who likes to break Asian traditions, but will only marry a White guy the first time around, often as a perceived way to upgrade her life. If the White guy mistreats her, or cheats on her, or tries to get her to completely forget her Asian culture and just become an Asian version of a White girl, then on her second time around, she is also much more open to dating a suburban type Black man, who is highly educated and well paid, who also treats her well. is highly educated, and well-paid, and treats her right.
      – the 3rd is the Asian “Leftover Women” (an Asian term by the way) who are women who did not get married in their prime. The prime upper age limit varies by country, but typically Asian woman past the ages of 27 to 30 are considered past their prime or “leftover” women. These Asian women are often very attractive well into their 30s, 40s, and 50s, but Asian men tend to ignore them to pursue younger women. So while these women did not marry in their prime period, in their “Second Chance” period, they will often consider dating and marrying Black men. We have seen this happen many times.

      Thanks for the great insight and thanks for visiting ABC!

  16. [email protected]

    I thought this was an dating web for blackasian! I’m asian women live in Asia. Dated black once and virtual LDR once with not very good experience. Found this blog quiet interesting.

  17. Do asians really see them self as white people , lol white people that only few could even stand out and speak correct english

    • In our experience, most Asians are proud to be Asian, but there are some Asians who are essentially white washed. Keep in mind that in Asia, many Asians are just underexposed to the world in general. For many Asians in Asia, most people look like them, speak their language, and abide by their cultural norms. Also many Asians rarely if ever watch TV and may only have one television in the entire home, if that. So when they see Hollywood movies and music videos, they tend to believe all the media hype – both the over glamorization of Whites and the overly negative stereotypes of Blacks. You might be surprised at how many Asians think that all Blacks are just like what they see in the hip hop music videos. It’s not right and it’s not wrong, it’s just the way it is in much of Asia, and much of it is driven by cultural underexposure and ignorance, not by real malice or ill intent. So some Asians see Whites in a better light than they see Asians, and see Blacks in a worse light than they see Asians or anyone else. Fortunately, we believe that these Asians are more and more in the minority. The younger Asian generation which is far more connected to the world than their parents and older generations, is much more self aware of the reality of the world and not as likely to fall into the same misunderstandings of the earlier generations. The other thing we see happen often is that Asians who marry White because they are trying to be White, when they finally realize that they can never really be White or when their White partner takes advantage of them, they tend to wake up and be much more open to dating Black men at that time. When two people find love together, no matter what their race, that’s a good thing which is why we say the Love Trups Race all the time.

      Hope this helps and thanks for visiting ABC!

  18. Why on earth is it that people from the far east get the Asian tag? I don’t get it. The entire middle East is Western Asia. What about India and Pakistan? These countries are also part of the Asian continent. What a stupid society we live in

  19. I wish there was a website for this to meet and greet. I’ve too feel in love with a Asian women well girl it was in high school everything about her was great smart beautiful all around well rounded and very head strong. I just missed my chance she went off to college before I asked or even told her how I felt regretting that now.

  20. I am a black man, and I just found this site a couple of days ago via Lilly’s you tube channel. I’m glad to see a site like this because nothing like this existed when my Filipino wife and I first got together. After reading some of this comments I was intrigued to post something. My wife and I have been together for 40 years and will be celebrating our 39th wedding anniversary on Christmas Eve 2016. We have two beautiful adult children, a son 30 and a daughter 24. We hope that they will Bless us with grandchildren some day soon. My son has been dating a Chinese lady for the past few years and she I guess can be considered the “Good Girl”. She hasn’t even told her mom that they are dating, whereas both my wife and I consider her to already be our daughter. So hopefully she will open up to her mother and just tell her, my daughter on the other hand is very open with her boyfriend and his family. I’ve visited his family and even spent last Thanksgiving with them.

    I remember when my wife and I first got together I was in the military stationed stateside at the time. We met at a club where she was out with her friends. Man did she love to dance back then. Anyway after several dances we finally stopped for air, she was very shy and still is today; but i had a chance to get to know her and at the end of the night I walked her to her car and made arrangements to meet again. After that second we’ve been together ever since. Her mom at first didn’t approve of her going out with me, but that didn’t matter because I was in love with this woman and nothing was going to stop me from spending the rest of my life with her.

    When people ask me why did we get married on Christmas Eve I tell them that she was my Christmas present; and she still is today. The only thing I will say about her family is, that when I married her I married the entire family. We’ve had our ups and downs as well as our disagreements but in the end she is fully dedicated to our children and even me sometimes lol. But the children always come first. I tell her every night before bed and every morning before leaving…”Mahal Kita Mabuti”.

    • Sean,

      Beautiful story and thank you for sharing! Also congratulations on 40 years together and your 39th wedding anniversary – that’s a great accomplishment! We hope it works out with your son’s Chinese GF. The “Good Girl” types tend to conform to their family’s wishes when the going gets tough and unfortunately, many Asian women in Blasian couple relationships have to stand up or fight for their relationship at some point which the “Good Girl” types are reluctant to do. On the flip side, we are seeing more and more progressiveness with Asian parents, so maybe her parents will be more accepting which would relieve her of the pressure to fight for her relationship. We hope it all works out well!

      Thanks for visiting ABC and many blessings to you and your family!

  21. Thank you ABC for your reply. I too am hoping that my son’s gf will finally step up for herself and have a talk with her parents. I don’t think she realizes that in my opinion this will be unhealthy for a continued future. I can only hope and pray that she does. I’ve offered to step in and talk with the parents or invite them to a gathering but my wife says no it’s their decision and not our place to interfere. I don’t consider it interfering I just consider it a little nudge in the positive direction lol. In any case I don’t want my son to invest the rest of his life with someone not willing to make a commitment with someone that he may not marry and have a family with.

  22. As a black man married to a Good Asian Girl for 23 years with three daughters, I found this interesting. I do think one category was left out – just as you have some Asian girls that aspire to be white, there were some that aspired to be black – not just into urban culture. Granted, this was a small group, but they exist and usually were found in Okinawa or around the military bases in mainland Japan.

    I was in Japan from 1989 to 1999, knew Amy Yamada and her husband, and saw the impact her writing had on Japanese women at the time. A lot of Japanese women wanted to experiment with black men due to her writings, but at the same time Japanese men in the media did all they could to demonize us – to the point that they literally setup orchestrated “boyfriend stings” in Okinawa and Japan, and then televised them to discourage Japanese women from dating black men. Was an odd time to be there, but fun as well.

    I’d say that many of the racist Japanese I met received their impressions on blacks from racist whites, but in the case of Japanese men this was amplified by the fear and jealousy of “their” women seeking out black men. Of course there were also those that were racist towards any non-Japanese as well, Japan being the fairly homogeneous place it is – there were plenty of bars, apartments, etc. that didn’t allow foreigners at all, regardless of color, culture, or financial status.

    In any event, I’d like to note that many of the married interracial couples we are friends with run the gamut of pairings – white & Asian, black & Asian, Hispanic & Asian, etc., and the Asian women in these relationships run the gamut of the categories too – so while it is mostly accurate, the “likely” pairings are just that – more a guideline instead of a rule.

  23. I am from Houston,TX l am looking to date a georgous Asian lady so I will be looking and yes I am a black man.Doesn’t matter about the age.I’m 64 yrs old .I will not give up looking for my soul mate.

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